Hookups: Full, Partial and Dry

Remember in the olden days when hooking up was a benign expression you used to arrange a meeting with a friend?  To see a movie or have lunch?  Before the term caused your teenager to hiss at you, with much dramatic eye rolling, “You can’t say that anymore!”  Because when you weren’t looking the term had changed to mean a sexual encounter of a temporary, no strings attached nature.  What we used to call a one night stand.  Not that I ever had any of those of course.  

Imagine the eye strain if they heard me talking about the various kinds of hookups I’m involved in these days.  A Full Hookup is prized, a Partial is okay as long as I get a Full one in a couple of days, and a Dry one can be tolerated as long as our Jenny is allowed.  And it’s not too hot.  Or cold.  Or in a Walmart parking lot.

Let me explain.  

A Full Hookup is when you get to plug in to Water, Sewer and Electric and you can run the washer and dryer at the same time as the Nespresso machine and milk frother and not blow multiple fuses.  If it’s 50 amp power.  Life is good on 50 amps. 

A Partial is usually where you get to plug into electricity and water, but sometimes just electricity, which means you need to fill your freshwater tank before you park. Your Grey Water and Black Water (no need to explain those, right?) must stay in your rig until you can get to the Dump station.  We can last 3 days if I go into full blown Water Police mode but for some reason this seems to irritate Dan.  So, he is now the proud owner of a porta-potty which means we can go days and days without having to pack up the whole rig to go to the dump station.  He can just siphon the tanks somehow (I’m quite happy to let this remain a mystery) and tow the porta-potty to the dump.  He has yet to use it but it makes him very happy just knowing it’s there. 

 

A Dry Hookup sounds sort of painful and, to be honest, we did experience quite a bit of discomfort at first.  It’s when you have no utilities so must rely on your batteries and generator (aka Jenny) for heating, cooking, water pump, air conditioning - basically everything.  Also known as Boondocking, and you might recall our early efforts with that. I’m trying not to.  Sometimes it’s unavoidable though, and most RVers at some point will endure the Ultimate Dry Hookup in a Walmart parking lot which warrants its own special name: Wallydocking.  So far we’ve been lucky.

So, now you understand the basics of hooking up in my world these days.   But there’s so much more to learn!  A whole new language!  As in: 

“Scored a PT at a COE.  No FHU - EW.  30/50.  WP 35.  Pump?  Dump.  Long enough for my toad.”

This is Advanced RV-Speak so here is the translation:

“We were lucky enough to nab a Pull Through site at an Army Corps of Engineers campground which we all know are beautifully maintained, usually located on some body of water, incredibly cheap - especially if you use your National Parks Senior Pass - and therefore highly sought after.  Sadly there are no Full Hookups available, just Partials with Water and Electric.  Both 30 and 50 amp available so big rigs are no problem.  The Water Pressure is not great however, so you may need to use your onboard water Pump when you take a shower or you’ll feel like you’re standing under the veggie sprayer at Safeway.  There is a Dump station nearby for disposal of your Grey Water and Black Water.  The site was long enough that, in addition to my obscenely long Motorhome, my towed vehicle also fit once I had unhooked it.”

At an Army Corps of Engineers Campground just over the Florida border into Georgia.

I know you’re dying to learn more about RV Life so here’s a primer.  

There are Motorhomes, Travel Trailers and Campers all grouped under the RV umbrella.

A Motorhome is any recreational vehicle that you don’t have to exit in order to use the bathroom.  Handy!  But within this category there are Classes.

Class A - these bus-like monsters that can be anywhere from 25ft to 48 ft long. The really fancy ones command prices in the millions.  Yes.  You need deep pockets for these babies.  The fuel cost alone!  Their tanks can hold up to 150 gallons. I have heart palpitations every time we have to fill up our 48 gallon truck tank - this would finish me off.

No toad needed with this one!

Class A owners tow a vehicle (commonly referred to as a “toad” which I found out was deliberate and not just a lack of eduction.) Toads are for use once the beast is parked.  Some owners tow a huge trailer just to house their toad. These people are idiots.

Class B - any van type including my brother Stephen’s classic VW combi van.  Very popular these days, especially in the UK because of the itty bitty roads.  There’s an acute shortage over there since Covid.  Stephen, do you know how much you could get for that beauty these days?

Stephen’s classic restored CombiVan on a trip to France.

Class C - bigger than a Class B with a heavy duty truck front.  We rented this type on our first cross country RV trip in 2010.  Easy to back in but awkward if you don’t have a toad.  You have to unhook and pack up just to go get a pint of milk, which is exactly what we had to do of course.  Many, many times.

Dan with his parents in 2010, on Day 1 of our first cross country RV trip.

On to Travel Trailers (aka Caravans):

In RV-speak, we have a “fiver”, or Fifth Wheel, to use its Latin name. I have no idea why it is called a Fifth Wheel as there are 4 wheels on ours, and some bigger ones have six wheels and are still called “fivers”.  Go figure.  It’s attached to our pickup truck bed so it’s not a “bumper pull” as tow-behind travel trailers are called.  There’s more risk for the dreaded Trailer Sway with a bumper pull. We decided on a fiver after seeing this.

Finally there are Campers which are for real outdoorsy types who nevertheless are too old for tents but like to pretend they’re still in the game.  Give it up, people, and buy a Van.

And that’s it for today’s lesson.  I’m afraid my daughters are now too old to help with the latest term for hooking up.  Hilary thinks it may be “one night stand” again (just like bell bottoms!) but Kate had other concerns.  I guess we all need a teenager to enlighten us.